A word first: Customs differ between families, clans and regions, and people disagree about the details. This guide describes the common pattern. Your own families have the final word.

What lobola is

Lobola is what a man's family gives to a woman's family when the two want to marry. In Shona it is called roora. In isiNdebele people say amalobolo, and the word lobola is used all over the country.

It is a thank-you to the family that raised her, and it ties two families together. That is why you do not negotiate it yourself. Your families do, through a go-between, and the relationship it creates is meant to last for life.

Lobola is less about the amount than about the two families meeting, talking and agreeing.

Who is in the room

  • The go-between. In Shona he is the munyai. In isiNdebele he is the umkhongi, also called the idombo. The man's family chooses him and he speaks for them all day. The groom does not negotiate for himself.
  • Her family. Usually her father, his brothers and her aunts. In Shona families the tete, her father's sister, plays a central part.
  • The woman herself. At some point she is asked, in front of everyone, whether she knows these people and agrees.

The usual order in a Shona roora

  1. Small opening payments. These start the talks: the ndiro, the plate the money is placed on, vhuramuromo, which means "opening the mouth", and makandinzwa nani, "who told you about our daughter".
  2. Kunonga. Money the bride picks up for herself, usually to buy things for her new home.
  3. For her father: matekenya ndebvu. It means "tickling the beard", for the years she sat on his lap and pulled at it.
  4. For her mother: mafukidza dumbu and mombe yeumai. The first is for carrying the child. The second is the mother's cow. Families take this cow very seriously, and many insist that it is a live animal and not cash.
  5. Rusambo. The main marriage payment. Many families say that without rusambo there is no marriage.
  6. Danga. The cattle. Today this is often part cattle and part cash.
  7. Majasi and groceries. Clothes for her parents, and groceries from a list her family gives.

If the couple lived together or had a child before lobola, the family may also ask for a payment often called damages.

Not everything has to be paid on the day. It is normal to pay part and to finish over time.

The usual order in a Ndebele lobola

  1. Ukucela ubuhlobo. Asking for a relationship between the families. The man's family appoints the umkhongi.
  2. Ungenekhaya. A gift of money to be allowed into her family's home.
  3. Isivulamlomo. "Opening the mouth", so that her family will begin to talk.
  4. Ukangaziwe. The introduction. The woman confirms that she knows the man, and a beast or its value in cash is paid.
  5. Amalobolo. The lobola itself, counted in cattle and today often paid partly in cash.
  6. Gifts for her parents. Ijazi likababa, a coat for her father, and ingubo kamama, a blanket for her mother.
  7. Umthimba. The wedding celebration, when the bride moves to her in-laws and the older women give her advice for married life.

What it costs

There is no standard price. Lobola depends on the two families and it is negotiated. Today most of it is counted in US dollars, and cattle may be given as live animals, as cash, or as both.

The best guide is a relative who has recently been through it in her family. Ask them what was expected and how long it took.

What the law says

Lobola is not banned. Zimbabwe's Marriages Act of 2022 gave civil and customary marriages equal standing. The Law Development Commission has said that paying roora is no longer a legal requirement for a marriage, and is a matter of custom and conscience.

Both people must be at least 18 and both must agree to the marriage. A customary marriage should also be registered, so that property and inheritance rights can be enforced.

This is general information and not legal advice. For your own situation, ask a lawyer or the marriage registry.

Talk about it before your families do

  • Do you both want lobola, and what does it mean to each of you?
  • What will her family expect, and when?
  • Will you pay it alone, or put money together as a couple? Many couples now do.
  • If one of you lives abroad, who will travel? Families often meet in Zimbabwe while the groom joins by video call or sends his go-between.

On Murudo you can say where you stand before you match. Choose "Dating to marry", "Ready to introduce families" or "Open to lobola conversation" as what you are looking for, and answer the prompt "Lobola conversation: I think it should be…" on your profile.

Common questions

What is the difference between lobola and roora?

They are the same custom. Roora is the Shona word. Lobola and amalobolo come from isiNdebele, and lobola is the word used most widely across Zimbabwe.

Is lobola required by law in Zimbabwe?

No. Lobola is not banned, and the Law Development Commission has said it is no longer a legal requirement under the Marriages Act of 2022. It remains a custom that most families still follow.

Who is the munyai?

The munyai is the go-between chosen by the man's family to speak for them during a Shona roora. In a Ndebele lobola the same role is the umkhongi.

Can lobola be paid in instalments?

Yes. Many families accept part of it on the day and the rest over time.

Does the woman have a say?

Yes. She is asked in front of both families whether she agrees, and the law requires both people to consent and to be at least 18.

Sources

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